What If
by Dannor
Summary: Chapter Two is up. Calvin has a twin who wants a bear and has a club. Need I say more? The title is SUPPOSED to be What If...
1. Calvin Never Had Hobbes?

A/N: This whole story is about what would happen if Calvin had (insert random word here). Hence the title "What If...." Calvin may seem out of character, but it's how I envision him like this. However, they are all in dream format. Oh yeah, I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.  
  
The short six year old awoke in his bed. "Another day to go to school!" he smiled excitedly. He popped out of bed and raced down the stairs. His mother was holding his baby brother in her arms.   
  
"Good morning, Calvin!" Calvin's mom grinned. She was very happy to have such a good kid that she gave birth to another one.  
  
"Good morning, Mom! Good morning, Toby!" He sat down at the table and poured himself a bowl of Raisn Bran. He loved that cereal. As he ate, he looked forward to his day at school.  
  
"Calvin, you'd better hurry, or you'll be late for school!" Calvin's mom said, setting the baby down onto a blanket.  
  
"Sure thing, Mom!" He finished the last of his cereal and went upstairs, combing his hair, making his bed, and folding his clothes neatly and put them in his dresser.  
  
He went back downstairs, grabbed his school supplies, and went to wait for the bus ten minutes early. Susie Derkins was out there, lugging around her stuffed tiger she claimed to be real.  
  
"Look, Hobbes, it's Calvin. He's such a learning freak it's sickening!" Susie nudged the stuffed tiger at her side.  
  
"Hello, Susie. Why don't you like learning? It's fun!" Calvin looked slightly repulsed when he said Susie's name.  
  
"Learning?!? FUN?!?" Susie gasped, looking shocked.  
  
"Yes! It's very fun! If you know what to do, it can be like an adventure!"  
  
"Our herione, the famous Spacewoman Selena, sees an unusuall creature, an 'Learnius Enjoyerus,' commonly called a Nerd," Susie muttered under her breath.  
  
"Not more of that stupid Spacewoman Selena junk, Susie!" Calvin sighed exasperatedly.  
  
"Aw... the bus is here," Susie cringed at the sight of the yellow bus which just pulled up. "See you later, Hobbes..." Calvin climbed onto the bus, closley followed by Susie.  
  
"Susie, where's your book report? It's due today!" Calvin glanced at Susie after they sat down, and saw that she wasn't carrying her book report and visual aid with her.  
  
"OH NO! MY BOOK REPORT!" Susie slapped her forehead. She leaped up and ran to the front of the bus.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing? SIT DOWN!" the bus driver yelled at Susie as she attempted to rush out of the bus door. Moaning, Susie protested.  
  
"My book report is due today and I forgot it!" she said, hoping the bus driver would let her get off.  
  
"Is it at your house?" the bus driver asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"No. I need a pencil and some paper to do it..."  
  
"Sit down," the bus driver ordered, pointing back at Susie's seat.  
  
"You forgot to do your book report ALL TOGETHER?" Calvin looked shocked. He never forgot to do his homework.  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault Hobbes and me had a big G.R.O.S.S. meeting last night!" Susie said loathingly at Calvin.  
  
Calvin stared at her blankly. "G.R.O.S.S? What's that?"  
  
"Get Rid Of Stupid boyS. Hobbes is the only guy aloud in, because he's not stupid," Susie stuck her tounge out at Calvin at this.  
  
"That's not 'G.R.O.S.S!' That's G.R.O.S.B!" Calvin pointed out.  
  
"It doesn't spell anything that way! Now, shut up and leave me alone!"   
  
  
At school, Susie got in trouble with their teacher, Miss Wormwood. "Young lady," she said sternly, "how many times have I told you NOT to bother Calvin in class?"  
  
"It's all his fault, Miss Wormwood!" Susie replied.  
  
Miss Wormwood looked shocked. "Is this true, Calvin?"  
  
"No, Miss Wormwood. Susie was trying to get me to tell her about the book we had to read for our book report, which she didn't read," he glared at Susie for trying to blame HER crime on him.  
  
"Miss Derkins, to the principal's office...." Then, under her breath, she added, "Only five more years... only five more years..."  
  
Susie slowly walked out towards the principal's office, and didn't return until lunchtime.  
  
"Hi, Calvin!" she said, plopping down next to Calvin at lunch.  
  
"Go away, Susie. I don't want to hear about any living mucus or your pet garden snail in your lunch today," Calvin massaged his stomach as he said this.  
  
"Oh, don't be jealous! I'll give you some moth-wing soup!" Susie tried to give Calvin her thermous, but he moved over two tables.  
  
  
When Calvin got home, he went inside and did his homework, and went for a walk. When he passed Susie's house, she was sprawled flat on the ground, fighting with her stuffed tiger.  
  
"I'll get you for that, you fuzzball! WHAT? I am not! You'll pay for that!" Calvin heard Susie yell as she kicked her tiger, who showed no signs of fighting.  
  
"Um... Susie? What ARE you doing?" Cavlin looked skeptically at Susie.  
  
"This stupid fur-face here LOVES to pounce on me EVERY DAY!" Susie pointed at Hobbes, who was still just sitting there.  
  
"Whatever... I really need to start hanging out with people like me..." Calvin muttered as he walked away, leaving Susie yelling at her tiger.  
  
* * * *  
"HOBBES!" Calvin shook his best friend awake. "WAKE UP!"  
  
"Where's my Nobel Prize?" Hobbes muttered, slowly waking up.  
  
"Wake up, stupid!" Calvin insulted.  
  
"What?" Hobbes asked, now fully awake.  
  
"I just had the WORST dream! I was like Susie, and Susie was like me!"  
  
"And you woke me up because..." Hobbes let his sentance trail off.  
  
"Never mind. I'm going back to sleep!" And with that, Calvin pulled the covers over his head and started snoring a few minutes later. 


	2. Calvin Had A Twin?

A/N: Really? I've never read your story about a terrible dream, Reveiw Guy. I guess that's because I never could look you up until I changed the Parental Controlls on AOL... whoops! Did I just say that? Anyway, I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.  
  
  
Calvin was walking through a long stretch of the woods with his best friend, Hobbes, along with his twin sister, Cynthia. Cynthia looked a lot like Calvin- she had the same color of hair, but it wasn't as full of cowlicks as Calvin's was. She had the same colored eyes, and, unfortunatly, the same personality. With TWO kids almost EXACTLY alike running through the house, their parents went on their second, third, fourth, and fifth honeymoon. They were currently on their sixth, and they left the twins with their Uncle Max.  
  
"Cynthia, did you HAVE to come?" Calvin sighed exasperatedly. He and Hobbes loved to run around in the woods- by themselves! With his sister tagging along, it wasn't exactly a little slice of paradise.  
  
"Yes, I did!" Cynthia stuck her tounge out at Calvin.  
  
"WHY?" he asked.  
  
"Because, stupid, I'm out here to catch a bear! You have Hobbes and I need a best friend!" she explained, as though she had said it before.  
  
"A bear in the house? That'd be interesting..." Hobbes remarked.  
  
"Yeah, Hobbes. It'll be great having a GIRL in the house!" Cynthia was the only other person who seemed to talk to Hobbes. Everybody else put an emphasis on 'Hobbes' or 'tiger.'   
  
"A bear?" Calvin looked blankly at her. "Why would you want a bear?"  
  
"Why would you want a tiger?" She laughed and walked off in a different direction in the forest. Hobbes ran up to catch her, leaving Calvin still staring at nothing in the dust.  
  
  
  
"A little closer... a little closer!" Cynthia was whispering this to herself, watching as a young bear cub sniffed at her 'trap.' It was just like the one Calvin had built to catch Hobbes, only it was baited with salmon instead of tuna. The bear sniffed the salmon, and grabbed it, which resulted in it hanging upside-down by the foot paw, happily munching on the salmon. "YES!" Cynthia said louder this time.   
  
Calvin groaned. It was bad enough with just Cynthia! Now, with a bear, G.R.O.S.S. would be outnumbered by the members of V.I.L.E! ((A/N: Read my first fic to find out about this.))  
  
"What's your name?" Cynthia said when she walked up to the bear cub, still happily munching on the salmon.  
  
"Tulip," the bear, obviously a she, answered, then continued eating.   
  
"Well, c'mon, Tulip! You're going home with me!" Cynthia untied Tulip, and she landed on the ground with a thud.  
  
"What'll we do at your house?" Tulip asked as she swallowed the last of the salmon.  
  
"Have an emergency meeting of V.I.L.E. That's what we'll do!" Cynthia grinned evily, and Calvin gulped.  
  
  
"Gentelmen!" Calvin exclaimed in his 'top secret' headquarters of G.R.O.S.S, "This emergency meeting of the club G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) shall now come to order! Dictator for Life Calvin presiding!" Calvin was trying his best to look important, with his newspaper-folded hat, but he was failing, since the hat was sliding off several times. "Today, our offical club enimy V.I.L.E. (Vanquish Ignorant maLe Efforts) has gained a new member, and offically a new enimy! Club War Stratagist Hobbes will now provide us with a plan of attack!"  
  
"Thank you, Dictator," Hobbes put his paper hat on, which was folded better than Calvin's. "I suggest that we go to the headquarters of V.I.L.E. and lure the new member out to our headquaters, then demand a ransom!"  
  
"Only one problem! We don't know where Cynthia keeps her headquarters!" Calvin pointed out.  
  
"Then let's go find them!"  
  
The pair climbed down the rope ladder of the tree house, and went into the house.  
  
"Where do you think Cynthia would go for a headquarters?" Calvin asked when they got to his room, which was very messy.  
  
"I don't know. She's your sister," Hobbes said, and lied down on the bed.   
  
"Well... it's not in her room... maybe in the basement?" Calvin scratched his head.  
  
"Let's try down there," Hobbes said, and they left Calvin's room.  
  
  
The basement was dank and musty, and when they got down there, they found to their avail that she wasn't there. Calvin suggested they try outside, so they climbed the stairs and stepped out into the bright sun.  
  
"I don't see her any where, do you?"  
  
"HEY! CALVIN!" Calvin spun on his heal to see Cynthia and Tulip, eaching holding a water balloon in BOTH hands. "Prepare for the downfall of G.R.O.S.S!"  
* * * *  
  
"AHHH!" Calvin sprang up for the second time that night.  
  
Calvin's mom rushed into the room, and clicked on the lights. "What is it, honey? Did you have a bad dream?"  
  
"DON'T LET CYNTHIA GET ME!" Calvin dived under the covers.  
  
"Who's Cynthia?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Oh... it was all a dream..." Calvin rubbed the sweat off of his forehead.  
  
"Well... I'm going back to bed. Good night, Calvin," Calvin's mom shut the light off and closed the bedroom door, and very quickly, Calvin was asleep again. 


End file.
